Friday, December 25, 2015

Lines from the Months of This Last Year: September

Lord Jesus,
I don't know how to thank You for this last week. How full of goodness it's been!
Make no bones about it. Take me to You, imprison me,
for I, unless You enthrall me,
never shall be free... (Donne)

Lord God.
Take me fresh, as if this was the very first time.
Thank You for the newness You've been giving me; the sick harshness of other's doubts (because I can share them) and the inner certainties that I, also, can share.
Thank You that tomorrow is TOTALLY in Your hands. And that today was, too.
I am Your little squishy hard one.
I am desperate for You.
And I trust You.

Dear Lord Jesus,
Please help me pray again. Talk to You again. Journalling, speaking, in my mind & spirit, whatever. I just need You. And I must be closer to You. I must know You and love You first, and not be fooled by imitations.
King Jesus. You have ownership of me. Thank You for giving me rights and respect and privileges all the same. Help me to intercede. O God, help me not say no to You. No sweeping noes. Help me say yes to You, every moment, as it comes, and yes to whatever Your purposes are.

Ugh. Help us just live, not taking anything for granted. Make us generous & joyful, ready for the long hard roads, forgiving, praising You.

Dear Lord,
Please keep reminding me of the Gospel.
Help me love righteousness, to be humble even in the background.

And guide me, Jesus. I realize I may not need to "figure out" these things. There may not be any "figuring out." But help me to know my own heart before You, and trust that you move the hearts of kings, and help me know what is right and wise and godly. Give me greater love, real love, for what really matters.

My Friend. My Lover. You are what I want.

I trust You to give me wisdom. Help me to know You, and therefore know myself and where I'm headed. Help me to praxis. That's not a verb, but I'm making it into one.

Lord, save me. I'm rotting. I'm stagnating. Make me willing and obedient. Don't cut me off. Help me wash myself. Help me learn to do good, to love justice,
and mercy.

My Lover. Who am I? What am I?
What am I becoming?
What do I love?
How sluggish I am. And how slow to believe all the prophets have spoken.
Help me to lose myself. To write more, again, and work for hours on end, out of LOVE, and use my body in glorious ways.
Thank You for what You did today. And the chance this afternoon to do photoshoots with C, A, and H. But I also feel a little foolish now. What if I looked affected, or chubby, or a bit too bizarre? That can all go.
Grant my heart peace. Speak to my Your mercy. Your endless mercy. Help me walk with purpose, in grace. Make me a great lover.

P.S. Use us. Do not by any means let the devil get his way tomorrow, making our time ineffectual, tense or trite, irritable or pushy. O Jesus. Bring Your kingdom.
Help me. I love You love You love You. YOU ARE ENOUGH.

P.P.S. Make a mystic out of this cheese.
(ref. Flannery O'C.)

No comments:

Post a Comment