Home, 3am
I understand this game.
You smile at me, and hide.
Keep me awake until I split the blinds,
See the moon a lantern in the tree,
And go outside to silence.
No cars on the road. No eyes. I stand
On the picnic table, my shadow on the corn.
The Luckiest Girl Alive. I’m leaking.
I remember how I wrote,
there is a deep loneliness
I thought you understood,
in our hush.
You were listening. Where does all the longing go,
When it is medicated? It is out here,
Flickering a hundred feet high, sparks
About to die. So small I gape to find them.
I am open. I am all ears. I see You,
In this space and darkness. I believe
Velvet beauty will exist after I have staked my bets
And taste the bitterness. After I am shackled
And regret the getting. This wild, this whole mouth
Of You will kiss me. Show me. I know You’re there.
I understand this game.
A truck brakes on the highway. I stare, aghast -
How completely the cloud bank
Covers up the moon.
