The Day You Just Wasted - May 25 2020

When one thing ends, another starts. This is my whole future. Whatever tomorrow is supposed to be, please help me live it and not be anxious, ashamed for taking today slow or for any other reason. You have given me so much. 

"The day you just wasted is the day that someone who died yesterday wanted so badly to have."

This scares me, and it doesn't take You into account, but the truth in it should galvanize me. This is my one life. Will I live it to be sexy? To get whatever I want next? For a good reputation? 

Will I push hard because I'm afraid to stop? Will I be too afraid of failure or mistakes to push hard? Will I always be comparing? 

Free me, please, Lord Jesus!

Help me to learn what this time should be. To use whatever I have to worship You. Thank You, thank You, for never giving up on me and for all the ways You get my attention. And for correcting me, and healing me, and wounding me. 

Sweet Spot, May 23 2020

I'm savoring this sweet spot. It's how I feel about this time, in general. The last week has been pretty sweet. There's a kind of safety in unknowing - we can't do much, can't make any plans. So here we are. Reading, eating, gardening, painting, having phone calls, cooking, sleeping, watching K-dramas. Our troubles are fairly small. Most of my grievances are minor and petty. I have so much to be thankful for. Help me keep my hands open, live this time fully, and enter the next season with courage, sobriety, and hope.