Sunday, November 29, 2020

Elephant, July 13 2020

HOW DO YOU EAT AN ELEPHANT?

Surprise on Monday,
chewing glass and spitting blood
into the trash can.
Surprise, it’s not construction
but a small brown pony
looking like a stuffed toy,
broken, bloated in the sun,
at the edge of the front loader.
About to be cleared away
from drivers in metal cars
who don’t know if Amish children
in cobalt blue and coral
were cleared away earlier.

We drive on.
Hot leather bites bare legs
on the car seat.
Summer sets in, and sinks its teeth.

We remember the days of grief,
passions congealed, but reversible
by new offense, by fresh blood.
By the next evidence
of injustice.

There never was an innocent time
in our remembrance. Gardens are always
eager with their weeds. And the lettuce bolts
too soon. We look back and ask
whether we did anything good, or only made ourselves
impatient, and older. Hair unkempt, and pimples
in obvious places.

ONE BITE AT A TIME.

Devilish nymphs of lantern flies
suck the stems of anything green.
We try to smash them. We embarrass ourselves
in the attempt. One in four is too slow,
so we keep trying.

We chew the broken glass
mixed in the jar of salsa.
We spit beet juice and blood
into the porcelain sink.

We worry about our insides,
waiting to see what the damage will be
in the end of things.

There never was an innocent time
since we drew breath. It is almost
as if we asked for this. Building our webs
so slyly we forget which threads
are viscous. Prey to our own devices.
Shocked at the harm we do,
when all we’ve done is live
- like everyone else -
we use phones,
we drive cars.
Children shouldn’t be
on the highway with horses.
It really is a shame.

But this is what you get.
No use pretending
it’s the old days.

A moment of silence
to think about your feed,
and move on.
Pretty soon the elephants
will be extinct anyway;
all these rescues are corrupt.

Be glad you lived
in a day when you could witness greatness,
visit the zoo, breathe.
The water in a few places was still clean
enough to swim in, to feel light.

Frame this vista
and keep it for yourself,
to look at
and feel lonely in later,
when you forget the sticky crowds
and only see the blue, those hills,
not in memory, but in pixels.

Someone someday will earn your trust,
and you will show them your ivory tusk,
purchased at a steep price on the black market.
An investment,
because someday the elephants will all be extinct
and someone will need proof
they existed.

Damnation, July 7 2020

It ought to bother me. 

And I believe it's true, but I believe it like a child confessing to a lie - the admission will destroy me, and reveal a whole mess of consequences, and make me cry. 

"There is more beauty in truth, even if it is dreadful beauty." (Steinbeck)

You came to save. Please save. 

Woman Builds Her House, July 2 2020

Please fill him with hope and strength, wisdom and confidence, peace and joy, wherever he is. Help us find each other, and recognize each other, and keep our hearts, eyes, and hands open. 

Lord, I want a family. And I want to make a home, and share it. I want to make music, and dinner, and love. I want to commit to a place and its people. I want to hike the Appalachian Trail, and see the Grand Canyon, and read my favorite books aloud. I want to pick up hitchhikers. I want to plant gardens and share what they produce. I want to babysit and run errands and make care packages, and go on retreats, and create, and create retreats for others. 

I want my body to be home. For You, always. And for a man, and for little ones. I want to accept and enjoy every change it takes on. I want to learn new languages, and re-learn old languages, like the language of music, and of touch. I want to learn how to really pray, and intercede, and speak up, and listen. 

Sister Prayer, June 28 2020

Quiet the voices. Silence the lies. Speak and be heard. 

We desire You. We know we were made for You, and nothing else can satisfy. Restore to us the joy of Your salvation. Give us concrete ways to work and grow and love others well. 

Help us to be faithful, even when others are flaky. Help us to trust Your faithfulness, even when we fail. Remind us that we have nothing to prove to anyone, that we are free and covered in Your blood, and belong to You. 

Help us to offer our whole selves to You, and all we have, and trust You to give us only more of Yourself, our true good, even in suffering. 

Let us be women of dignity, strength, peace.