Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Lines from the months of this last year: September & October


Woodsing. Finally back to the cairn, the lean-to.

Swinging was glory.

They are the same in You - the telling and the meaning.

Asked God, "I know Jesus loves me, but please show me You love me." Immediately I heard a soft but intent knocking on the door. I called out thickly, "Coming!" and struggled into wakefulness with a sense of duty, urgency. Lay with my eyes open, listening to hear the knock again, and testing/tasting my tongue to discover if I'd really spoken.
All was quiet. My mouth felt sleepy. So! I thought. You still wake me up at the oddest hours. In the dark I remembered that the verses I'd posted across were all about God's care for us.


I remember walking to Bolsena, how I felt all the filth of my own heaviness, and yet the terrible joy and freedom of being Yours. Of loving my legs. Of feeling that I could please and delight You. And the people, all the weight I carried, all the burdens of guilt for not doing enough to love, support...You carried that. They were in me, but not on my shoulders anymore. You carried them, and You carried them within me. And there was light, and air, and room. We could go somewhere.

Those moments of feeling so miserable, so out of place. Unnamed. And then Named again... What does our world need, and what will I name my children?
What did I see? Healer. Transparency.
Affection. Humility. Care. Kindness.
Respect. Glue. Zeal. Servant. Acceptor.
Jealousy. Insecurity. Pride. Judgement. Isolation.
Mockery. Superiority. Gossip. Aloofness.
Bitterness. Impatience. Selfishness. Entitlement.
Cleanse me of these.

We, our names, are prophecies.



We became Shoshone sisters.

Let it be said,
let it be known,
that I was nothing but Yours.

Jesus, I need Your love. I'm shattered with images, with needs.

The fiddles says,

you will wake up strong
        sun will come through the slats
    red leaves will fall
          you will turn with arms raised.

I thought to myself,
"What's the point of life if I can't do something beautiful?
That's not right. When you were a child your smile lit up the room,
and you weren't even trying."

"To know one person who is positively to be trusted, will do more for a man's moral nature - yes, for his spiritual nature - than all the sermons he has ever heard or ever can hear."
- George MacDonald, "Malcolm," 329

Such a good day. Quiet, foggy, rested in and out.

I have nothing new or original to say. But just take me.

Lord, I'm remembering, realizing more and more, that the VERY BEST thing I can do is be close to You. Read Your Word. Believe it. Act on it. Pray. Rest.

"Come, let us return to the LORD.
He has torn us to pieces
but he will heal us;
he has injured us
but he will bind up our wounds.
After two days he will revive us,
that we may live in his presence.
Let us acknowledge the LORD;
let us press on to acknowledge him.
As surely as the sun rises,
he will appear;
he will come to us like the winter rains,
like the spring rains that water the earth."
-Hosea 6:1-3 NIV

David pouring the water.

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