Friday, December 5, 2014

Lines from the Months of This Last Year: February

Kindness over & over. And still I shrink back from You. Croon over me in my sleep, help me know Your voice so well that I'll believe You without trying.
Keep prayers flowing in and out of me like water.

I've felt ugly, hungry, heavy again today, like I haven't in a while. A dirty sort of self-destruction. Lord, free me. Help me recognize the lies and fight them, have discipline. Help me talk to You.

Please show me how to love all these people. Put Your hands on us. Breathe new life.

I don't want him a pansy or a safe man. But I don't want him a fool or a liar, either.

Show me how to give and receive and trust, and not be such a small mound of gravel.
Jesus, if You are all that really matters, then show it to me. It means everything else can rot. You remain. I am not a sentimental cross-stitch or a grenade (thx John Green). But I need to be Yours, and I need to be nothing and something in You. What can I add to Your universe? What can I heal?
Patch up my wounds, and the wounds I inflict.
Cover over my conversation this morning. I'm afraid I was merciless. Forgive me.

Dear Lord Jesus,
How can You be dear and my Lord at the same time? How can You become more of both? Please do. Please do become more of both. How can I treasure and desire and be loyal to You? How can I revere and worship and obey You?
Dear. Lord.    Jesus.

Jesus, I am overwhelmed by You again. Thank You for orchestrating this day.

Bring to mind what I can't. Holy Spirit. Help me be in Your Mind again. Show me it's more than me, looking in the mirror.

Lord, thank You for this good day. Feeding a white-throated sparrow this morning. A night of "Fantastic Mr. Fox", Balderdash, and stars & a golden cheese jewel moon.

Thank You DAD. Painfully sweet days.
We should always pray and not give up. A year ago, Dr. L was still alive. And MB, and SC, and WT, and S's Dad...Lord. Teach us. Guard us, guide us toward You, toward truth and understanding. Let our hearts be large. Do not by any means let us harden.

Please take my life. Tomorrow. Everything. Work out who I might see. What we all do. Help us love. Help us really rest tonight. Let down our anxious guard and embrace Your presence, peace, provision. Humor & delight. Help us be Marys, not Marthas.

Lord, come. In kindness. Show us that You are compassionate and gracious, God.
Help me, now. Help us all.
                                  LOVE  LOVE  LOVE.
All our needs will be met.
I am deeply well.


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