I woke up this morning around 9:30, aching and bleary and with a splitting headache. I also bled onto my sheets. My body held off during the taut days of preparation, and rolled in with a rush this morning. I made tea and hand-washed my laundry in the sink, in a quiet fog. I had a little yogurt with Mom and Dad, and went back to bed. I was mostly in bed all morning.
I keep thinking about yesterday. It brought people together. It told us that we really were safe, to be hurt and even to be ridiculous. How do we accept that we WILL be messy, make other people's lives harder and more complicated? We might actually be burdens.
I love life so much.
I love You, God. After big vulnerable open emotional/spiritual events, it's easy to retract and feel too naked or strangely discolored. Easy to suddenly not feel any of it. "Was that real? Do You exist, God?" And You continue the same. So gracious. Never canceling Your welcome.
I keep thinking about yesterday. It brought people together. It told us that we really were safe, to be hurt and even to be ridiculous. How do we accept that we WILL be messy, make other people's lives harder and more complicated? We might actually be burdens.
I love life so much.
I love You, God. After big vulnerable open emotional/spiritual events, it's easy to retract and feel too naked or strangely discolored. Easy to suddenly not feel any of it. "Was that real? Do You exist, God?" And You continue the same. So gracious. Never canceling Your welcome.
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