Wednesday, June 1, 2016

Lines from January, Part 1

There's been too much to write about.
The wedding (contra was miraculous), driving to MO yesterday, and even today with its myriad small adjustments, joys. I love being here. This is right.
A and I had tea, fruit, eggs, and popcorn for breakfast. Popcorn left for us by the neighbors, along with other treats, a sweet note, and a booby trap of balloons and confetti.
A said, "This is the kind of thing that makes me think I can do this."

We shopped today. I almost got us in an accident. But we were fine (thanks). We locked ourselves out the first time we left the house; C came to rescue us, i.e. finagle the deadbolt (we had the key, it was just tricky).
Today a man in Walmart on a motorized wheelchair warned us, "Better watch out! Quarter-mile-an-hour!"

Thank You Jesus. Reading Narnia, Psalm 19, my old entries, and listening to "Seated With Christ" were glimmerings of You today. As were sunlight and a tiny grasshopper picking his way across the living room carpet. And J's song. And E's good news. And F's text. Ah, Christo.

I miss my brothers. Thank You for J's softness Saturday night. For C's message tonight. Make him into a very good cheese.

Dear Jesus, please give me wisdom. Amen.

Dearest to me,
Remind me (how) to talk with You. Remind me (how) to listen. Help me be like Abel, giving You my best, all of me, not the scraps. Remind me what Your love is really like. Show me fire & water & mountain air. Gather me, scatter me, pierce my ears. As with slaves of old, I want Your awl. But marry me. Help me call You Husband, not Master. Help me bring You good, and delight in You, all my days.

He bought her a piano.

Everything is going to whiz by. Everything IS whizzing by.
But thanks, Lord, that You're in it. Thanks for what You are teaching me. Wean me from worthless things. Give me invincible joy in You and in all things from You, toward You.
Thanks for A & A and their family. Thanks for a great night with them, soup, bread, lemonade, blueberry pie and ice cream, shooting handguns, playing Wii, fooling around with smartphones, LOTS of storytelling and laughter and cuddly kids.

Thanks for moodiness and quietness today, some progress, but also some be-ing. Emotions are coming back to me quietly.
I didn't realize how suppressed I was.
Keep teaching me, my Soulmaker.

Thanks for a barefoot ramble and prayer for Tripoli today.

Thank You that A prayed and read and decided "Yes" today,
and that I could affirm it.

Thank You for miraculously making the shortbread cookies stick together.
And for giddy wine and laughter, and safety.
3rd day of yoga, and some lame hip-hop.
Singing "Worthwhile Snack" in the shower.

Thanks that A is going to get her finger sized, and that C had a zip tie, ribbon, and string in his back pocket, and that I still don't know how to spell exercise and I'm embarrassed about my poor math skillz. Corrected an addition fail on my old grocery list. Pride is a bigger problem than faulty addition.
Thanks for all the letters lined up on the counter, and my first (from Mama!) today, and for a lovely Skype with C.
Thanks for helping me pray for J while doing kitchen laps, ~20 mins.
Help me sift through the Buddha's words, keep only what will serve.

Jesus, I don't know You as You should be known. Don't give up on me.
Make what You desire - truth - in my inmost.

Good afternoon of prayer, fasting & rest. Good is perhaps the wrong word...important? Needed. Helpful. Prayer with A & C, too.
Dancing to Innocence Mission with almost all the lights out. "Shadow of the Almighty", and more of John 1.
I should mention yesterday though. SUCH A SUCCESS of a day for You! Breakfast, reconciliation, visiting...and off to St. Lou! I had a lovely visit with O, and a really sweet time getting to know R before everyone else arrived. They're an awesome family. Metal detectors, corn snake, horses, Manga, books.
T told me some of their story. They were 17 and 23 when they married. Thank You for keeping them together. Thank You for holding all things together by Your powerful Word.
Use every stubborn hapless part of me.
Give me more. Make the dry bones come alive. Would I trust You for salvation, and not for that?

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