The day was tough overall. Sermon mentioning J, shot to death before he reached the island. The debate about whether or not he should have been there at all. Then over lunch, feeling irritated and even repulsed. Thinking about puppets, Creation museums, and a curled moustache.
Of course I was further disgusted with myself.
I had to stop watching TV later, just too ugly. WHY IS IT ALL SO BROKEN? Does all this really fit, God?
Why is it Your beautiful powerful gracious ways can suddenly look so narrow and unfair? Unrealistic? Eternal damnation? Fear of facts? Shouldn't we be able to observe all the data and see You? In the human body, in creation? Please protect and guard my mind, keep me from hiding and rotting there. Truth-seeking means being vulnerable and receptive, not wailing in fear. Let what stands, stand. I want real truth, after all.
I read a few O'Connor stories yesterday, which might seem correlated, but it was surprisingly comforting. A part of me resonates with O'Connor.
Of course I was further disgusted with myself.
I had to stop watching TV later, just too ugly. WHY IS IT ALL SO BROKEN? Does all this really fit, God?
Why is it Your beautiful powerful gracious ways can suddenly look so narrow and unfair? Unrealistic? Eternal damnation? Fear of facts? Shouldn't we be able to observe all the data and see You? In the human body, in creation? Please protect and guard my mind, keep me from hiding and rotting there. Truth-seeking means being vulnerable and receptive, not wailing in fear. Let what stands, stand. I want real truth, after all.
I read a few O'Connor stories yesterday, which might seem correlated, but it was surprisingly comforting. A part of me resonates with O'Connor.
No comments:
Post a Comment