Sunday, March 19, 2017

Satisfaction, January 26

I dreamed that I was looking through manuscripts, and had just finished scanning one complete set when the alarm went off and I awoke. That sense of completion was very comforting. Satisfying.
"You will never be satisfied, I will never be satisfied..."
That's something that frightens me. The thought that maybe I will never be satisfied. With life, with a man. For some reason I'm not really worried about being satisfied in God, or with my identity. Not in this moment, at least. That is a gift. But when it comes to romance, I have this unreasonable fear, that I will marry someone flat or who won't understand me and pursue my heart, and that later on I will meet some incandescent, bleeding soul and be thrown off balance (be discontented, or even unfaithful - which are not dissimilar).
Save me from this fear and dread and burden, Father. You gave the soul.
You know how to give good gifts and make good matches.
Strike Anywhere matches.
Ah, but You are the only match. And the skeleton key, and the O negative.

Quote: Lin-Manuel Miranda

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