Thicket

Oh God

my crowded skulllllll... if it takes too much 

can it be wrong to want to wander 

to wish i had not 

to have no claim on anything, the world the woods, the silence

the black bear's crusted paws

[this terrible discovery of wilderness, forgotten so as not 

to be forgiven].

Eat this apple, tart and slicker than ice. It is wet 

outside you will catch coiled (it is cold outside 

you will ruin your feet).

We take such gray photos only to look as we wish we could, 

pretending to be sorry, mmm, keep on dancing, goodbye. It's been nice to know 

you now you

are gone. 
Long, too long. It's been tombs and bombs since i saw you waiting 

in the thicket watching me waltz by.

If only i was strong 

enough to love you let you 

                                    see me, 

                                            be you 

in my skin my tight-lipped love my everlasting world 

without end amen. 

If i was smaller perhaps, or large enough to be invisible, 

clean and jasmine, 

Justice with a scale and liquid eyes. We all file past, 

all flounder flapping fins and wings, wanting nothing 

but to sing and hear the rush of every verb ascend with us. 

The sun and song of quickened things, virtuous 

and salty on our tongues. 

If you let me stretch 

my flesh across the branches like a fated parachutist, like some tragedy, 

(i will run i will ruin my feet it is ok i hope)

laughing that painful breathless way the uterus opens up 

now we smell our own blood 

and the last word 

to be spoken is good.