Monday, December 30, 2013

Lines from the months of this last year: November and December


1. All Saints'
Thank You for being my God. For being all I need, all I really care about, when it comes down to it. I just love You.
Waste Nothing.

Dear Jesus,
All my life You have led. Lead me now, through all this woodsy woodsen. It's not a bog. Where I don't see, I am protected (cf. George MacDonald).

Do I transgress? Show me true righteousness. Rooted in love.

Lord, I DO want to understand. And I DO WANT TO KNOW YOU.

Thank You for the safe trip back, sweet time in the airport with C. and J., the man asking if we were twins or at least sisters.
Alim Qasimov.

Aching to work.

Thank You for this blessed and very beautiful life You allow me to live.
Keep leading.

Jesus. Your many, many kindnesses. What You started You will complete. You do not bring to the moment of birth and then not give delivery (Is. 65).
Do not abandon the work of Your hands.
All of tired, delighted, soul-hungry me.

A.'s tea in the morning. Fog, barefoot.

Lord, thank You for Dad just coming in and saying the perfect things. About being an artist/creator - about realizing that all my life comes out in my work, and is necessary for breaking up fallow ground, being patient, knowing that the real work is often outside the typewriter.

Jesus answered, "It is written: 'Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.'"
-Matt. 4:4 NIV

Pour YOURSELF. All the things I can't describe. All the inner longings to see You.
So much in me burns and longs and heaves. Stoke me, temper me. Guide my passions into their places. Harness their power for good. For virtue, righteousness, obedience. Zeal for Your Name.

How can I know You better? How can I welcome Your Spirit? How can I grow, not fear, not hold back from good disciplines?

Lord, my God.
How do You even have patience with a thing like me? How can You be so kind? Never let me forget.
Thank You for all the truth she pours into my life.

I have been so easily distracted.
I want Your face, Your hands, Your love, Your embrace.
Your blood.
Thank You for our tree. Make my body more and more Your temple, holy. Help me strive to please You, not men.

"How can you believe if you accept praise from one another, yet make no effort to obtain the praise that comes from the only God?"
- John 5:44 NIV

And now I ask You for a very big thing. Bind us together in unity. Make us of ONE mind, heart, & soul - to love You and see Your kingdom come. Help us sacrifice, delight and rest, see You as You are, work with our whole hearts.
Bring back the wandering. Strengthen and encourage the weak and discouraged. Do what I can't do.


Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace (Saint Francis). Open up the arteries. Even though I cannot do much, please use me. Help me flame out boldly, brightly.
Make me less - as long as I'm content in You. I am thankful for the Isaiah 62 favor, but man's favor is addictive and ultimately unsatisfying. Woo me to You again. Bring me gently into the stillness of Your heart.

I'm awfully glad I'm here. It was strange but lovely, walking around the old haunts, my pine, the swings.
Prospects, prospects. People to see, and be seen by. Meet us all here, because what we really want is You.
Delight of my soul, my Jesus,
You are still a stranger to me. I do not know or understand You. But I want to. Wed me.

"Love more, care less."

Thank You for dances.
Help us wait for you.

What is this new name You give me?
I want to be brave. To have an anointed tongue. To be a peacebringer.

"I think you are the first sip of new milk." (Jessica Yu, "Mother Near Death")
Virgin colostrum. Your maiden mother. Why?
What need have we of prophecies, of promises?
What in this could not be otherwise?
"Something there is that doesn't love a wall." (Frost, "Mending Wall")

Love us up.

You are
i am
Your mother
still a child
I crave You
firstborn, still unsuckled.

14. Feast of Santa Lucia
Help us really be real, these next few days. Trust each other and you, not play it safe. Help me know how to talk about what matters. Help me KNOW what matters, have open ears.
Go before us, multiply our gifts, disperse our bread, take these many broken pieces and feed a multitude. And satisfy US on Yourself - Your body and blood. We are so hungry for You.
May this be the beginning of something new. Make a Sabbath in my heart.

Communion today was mulled wine
passed between us in a blue and white china cup.

Letter to Santa:

a phone
Danielson: A Family Movie
new paintbrushes
a gramophone
red shoes
chickens and a goat
true love

Thank You Lord, for caring so deeply, so well. For breakfast with T. - a celebration, a feast.
I've been washing dishes, giving back massages, sharing food, but mostly receiving - so much.
Cream, cream, I'm walking in a dream. Headstrong, walking headlong into open arms,
a kiss.

Bless Your holy Name. Jesus.

"She had that spontaneous quality of aliveness which illuminates people who have already done a lot of their dying."
-Madeleine L'Engle, Summer of the Great-Grandmother

Guide my way, all my thoughts and emotions, as I depart, travel, and return home tomorrow. By Your Spirit, which dwells in me, comfort and remind me of all I should know and remember.
Give me a noble heart.

"The path of the righteous is level;
O upright One, you make the way of the righteous smooth.
Yes, LORD, walking in the way of your laws, we wait for you;
your name and renown are the desire of our hearts.
My soul yearns for you in the night;
in the morning my spirit longs for you.
When your judgements come upon the earth,
the people of the world learn righteousness."
-Isaiah 26:7-9 NIV

"If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!"
-Matt. 6:11 NIV

HOME. Has it ever been more lovely?

Ah, that old warm, loud, happy, silly, beer-scented, cuddling ruckus that is the gathering of these families.

I just asked Dad if he minded closing my door. He paused, and said,
"Only if it doesn't hurt," and proceeded to close his fingers into the door, yowling. He laughed as I laughed, and said,
"Why do I do things like that?"
I said,
"Because it makes life so much more fun!"

Help me love fearlessly tomorrow.

Groan, intercede through me. 

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