Thursday, August 25, 2011

Sweet, Nice, Cute

There is a part of me that cringes at being called "sweet" or "nice" or "cute." The latter two, especially, communicate an aggravating smallness, a paltry pleasant manner, that grates on me. I would rather not be cute. I would rather not be nice. Make me ugly or beautiful. But an honest ugly or a truly beautiful. Make me hard and unsociable or deeply kind. But none of this dull nice that makes neither a safe spoon nor a sharp knife.
But make me, above all, good. A good that rumbles richly in the belly, that softly springs upon the mind with time, that shows itself best, and truest. Make me a satisfying yet longing-bringing good, sweet in the way my Mother meant it when she found me helpful, a "sweet girl." Not a candy one. Sweet like ripe fruit, fresh milk, or honey on bread. Like the texture of wood under the hand. Like a genuine smile that changes nothing, but changes everything.
There is a part of me that knows I will not be this good alone. Nor will it come without pain. There is no joy apart from suffering. There is no growth without rain. 


  1. I think many people don't think about the meaning of the words they say, and call people cute or nice because its a common cultural euphemism. Try not to take offense at it, and do your best to recognize it for what it is.

    Of course, I don't know the situation surrounding it, so everything I just said may not apply.

  2. Thanks. ;) I wrote this in the spring, at a point when I was feeling more strongly about it. I usually don't have a problem with these words. I even use them occasionally myself. But do you know what I mean about how insipid they can seem?